Thursday, March 8, 2012

On struggle street

I have really been struggling for about a week now. Just been feeling really flat and very tired and not into it. I mean i have been still working out but only to the point where i have burnt enough calories and that is it. I know that i could of gone so much harder. I have found that i don't need to work up such a sweat on my trusty old exercise bike and that makes me feel like i am taking the easy road.

I have been bad with my nutrition, chocolates and lollies seem to be sneaking back in to my daily routine. I have also been struggling with my injury and that has really upset me. I can't do what i love the most and it pisses me off. I have been playing games inside my own head. I have been in pain and i just want it to stop. I have been feeling like why even bother. I had a really emotional day yesterday. I just could not get up early to go for my run and that made me shitty for the rest of the day. I had errands to run and with 2 kids in tow it turned out to be a Mission Impossible, i was ready to throw in the towel (with the errands that is) I did however get to have a nana nap, hoping that i would wake up nice and refreshed BUT hell no. It was still the same old shit at a later time. My kids just seemed to be getting under my skin and i hate how i take my frustrations out on them. I was getting more and more pissed off because i knew i wasn't going to workout because my shoulder/back was just killing me all day. MR Physio says "Just try to rest it, don't pick things up, try not to use it' Mr Physio you do know that i have 3 kids and ahousehold to take care of, so that aint gana happen. I have been living on painkillers and antiinflammatorys and i hate it.

I have been in pain for days and it has made me so grateful for my healthy body and all the things it allows me to do, i just want it back. I miss it!! So i think i need to go back and relook at my pre-season tasks. I need to stop comparing myself to my last round . I need to stop thinking that i know everything and just do what i am told by Mish. I need to catch up on the mindset videos that i have not watched yet. I know what i need to do to get me out of this rut BUT i just have to do it. I am dirty at myself for letting me get to this stage. There is no one else that can do anything about it but ME.

I layed in bed this morning after my 4.45am alarm went off thinking and arguing with myself whether to get up or not. I knew that to get my workouts done i NEED to get back to waking up early every morning and just JFDI!! I have been really slack with this and have just been trying to do it in the daytime when i get a chance, sometimes that just doesn't happen. So i finally got out of bed after arguing with myself for about 20mins. 'Just get the Hell up' is what finally got me out of bed. Got training gear on and off i went half asleep. Now i know that if i make the trip to the city and run around the river i would be right. Once i get there i fall in love with running all over again. There are so many people out running and doing training sessions that it brings a smile to my face ...... for me it's like i'm home!!! It's a great feeling.

So i am happy to say that after a 6km run in just under an hour, fresh air going into my lungs, beautiful music playing in my ears and the awesome scenery that Brisbane city has to offer i am feeling great. I came home pumped and excited for the day. I came home to my big girl getting herself breakfast and the other 2 still sleeping in bed with daddy. All my babies woke up in a happy mood, mum is in a happy mood, i got my daughter to school on time and i credit all this to my ME time that i took for myself this morning. If i start the day right then everything else will fall into place ......... Family Bliss!!!!

I am super excited for the weekend. I have Parkrun planned for Saturday and then the IWD run on Sunday followed by the PIP bootcamp. I'm going to back it up on Sunday and i can't wait. This is just the kick start i need to get me back in the groove.

This was the full moon still shining bright as i drove to the city this morning to go for my run. How cool is that!!!!

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