Friday, May 4, 2012

MIA baby

Haha see what that says!!!!!!  Up there can you see it ... well this is what has going on in my head these last few weeks. The bloody shit that i talk to myself. I have been missing in action, someone else has taken over my damn body. I think it was my EVIL self.

These last few weeks of the program have been SHIT!!! I have totally given up on the nutrition, totally given up in my training, i mean i'm training but i'm not really. If you know what i mean. Friggin dirty at myself for doing it. I have spent the last few weeks feeling sorry for myself. Instead of getting out there and doing something about it i have drowning in self pitty and food. I fell like crap. Sluggish and tired!!! What the hell am i doing??

I found that once i got to my goal weight (which i am not at now god damn it) i just gave up. Yep gave up all that hard work, gone!!! I just feel emotionally drained. 

Now i had all these plans to go to the Finale with my new HOT ass bod and have a great time but now i just feel like why should i even bother!!! After seeing everyones transformations i was like holy, i done crap. I know i shouldn't compare myself to anyone else but i cant help it. Some of the transformations are just insane. I feel like i have just wasted my time, my money and most of all let myself down.

So i have made a pact with my sister and my mum that i am going to smash it out the next round. I need to get my shit together (gee how many times have i said this in the last 12weeks) and knuckle down starting from NOW. I am going to do everything that Mish tells me to. I PROMISE you Mish!!!!!

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